What is dating violence?
Dating violence is any intentional sexual, physical or psychological attack on one partner by the other in a dating relationship. Statistics about dating violence are alarming: one in three high school students have been or will be involved in an abusive relationship. 40% of teen age girls 14-17 say they know someone their age who has been hit or beaten by a boyfriend.
Victims and abusers of dating violence come from all social and economic
backgrounds, faith communities, and racial and ethnic groups.
Dating violence can also occur in same-sex relationships.
Dating violence is something that happens to other people, not me, right?
Dating violence can happen to anyone regardless of gender, sexual orientation, race, age, or socioeconomic status. Because of this fact, it is important for you to know the warning signs and methods of self-protection. You are important and your safety is our concern.
Dating violence is about power and control.
All forms of abuse are harmful and need to be taken seriously.
What are some of the warning signs of dating violence?
- Keeping silent about the abuse
- Unexplained bruises, scratches or injuries
- Fear of partner
- Partner’s controlling and jealous behavior
- Partner’s constant criticism and, at times, public humiliation
- Isolation from friends and family because of partner’s pressure and jealousy
- Partner threatens you if you want to break up
- Verbal/emotional abuse
85% of rape victims know the offender.
It is never the victim’s fault why a rape occurs.
How do I protect myself from date rape drugs?
- Never accept an open beverage.
- Watch your beverage at all times. Don’t put your beverage down, walk away, and expect to drink it when you come back.
- Watch beverages being poured for you.
- Use your friends and have them watch your beverage and you watch theirs.
- If you feel that you have been slipped a drug, tell your friends. Go to the emergency room if necessary. You may need medical attention. Call your parents or another trusted adult.
- If you decide to risk drinking alcohol, always know your limit. Sometimes binge drinking can cause the same effect as a date rape drug.
To read or print out more information, click the following links:
Teens: ask the questions (PDF)
Teen Power & Control wheel (PDF)
Power and Control Wheel for Gay, Lesbian, Bi and Trans Relationship (PDF)
Questions to ask yourself about a new dating partner
1. Can you state particular characteristics of this person that you like/ admire?
2. Is your partner glad you have other friends?
3. Is your partner pleased at your accomplishments and ambitions?
4. Does your partner ask for and give consideration to your opinions?
5. Does this person both talk and listen?
6. Is this person able to verbalize his/ her feelings?
7. Does your partner have good friends?
8. Does this person have interests besides you?
9. Do you consider this person a friend as well as a potential lover/ mate?
10. Does your partner respect your right to make decisions affecting your own life?
11. Does this person accept responsibility for his/ her actions and not blame failures/ negative results on others?
12. When angry, does he/ she break or throw things?
13. Does your partner lose his/ her temper easily?
14. Does this person ask you about your past dating partners?
15. Does your partner expect to be told where you have been when you are not with him/her?
16. Does this person think there are any circumstances in which it is okay for a man to hit a woman?
17. Is your partner jealous of your friends or relatives?
18. Does your partner think you are “cheating” on him/ her if you talk to or dance with someone else?
19. Does your partner get angry if you are not attentive to him/ her?
20. Does he/she “take over” when you are having trouble doing something, whether you want him/ her to or not?
21. Does your partner silently sulk when angry?
22. Does this person drink or take drugs almost everyday, or go on periodic binges?
23. Does this person ridicule you or put you down?
24. Do you like yourself less than usual when you have been with this person?